The Paradox of Surrender
I know you know that life doesn’t always go as planned.
A job rejection, a major health challenge, or a missed professional milestone can upend our plans. These moments force us to make a choice:
Do we fight harder?
Do we "Marie Kondo" it?
Do we quit?
Or is there another option?
When you are caught in a rip tide, you swim along the shore; you don't fight with the current.
In moments of difficulty or transition, understanding the distinction between surrender and submission can guide us toward true healing and transformation.
Surrender: Surrender is a full and genuine acceptance of reality, both consciously and unconsciously. It’s not about defeat but about letting go of resistance and embracing what is. This internal and external alignment leads to a state of relaxation, peace, and freedom from strain. Surrender creates the space to rest deeply and recover, enabling clarity and readiness for the next chapter.
Submission: Submission, on the other hand, is a surface-level compliance. While it acknowledges reality, it grudgingly keeps a subtle internal struggle alive. Submission creates tension rather than peace, preventing rest and recovery. There may be a sprinkle of anger here. It keeps you in a holding pattern, unable to fully move forward.
For the early part of my career, I was in submission when things didn't go as I wanted.
"FINE (Read: freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional). I'll pause. But as soon as I catch my breath, I am back at it." I just didn't get it.
The Power of Surrender and Rest:
As Katherine May explores in her Wintering book, life has seasons, and surrendering to a “winter” period—a time of rest, stillness, and quiet—can be profoundly restorative. Just as nature uses winter to rest and prepare for renewal, surrender allows us to step back from striving and struggling, giving us the time to regain our strength, clarity, and purpose. Rest is not just an absence of action; it is an intentional space where healing and transformation occur.
Using Surrender to Reframe Your Future:
This period of surrender is not simply about pausing but reframing. When you emerge from the quiet, it’s a time to reflect on what you truly want. By letting go of resistance, you free up mental and emotional energy to explore new perspectives, reevaluate your goals, and align with what truly matters. Surrender offers the opportunity to step back, realign with your values, and chart a course for the future with intention and clarity.
Practical Actions to Embrace Surrender:
Rest Fully: Recognize that rest is productive. Let go of guilt and allow yourself to truly disconnect from the pressures of work and life.
Reflect Deeply: Use this quiet period to ask yourself key questions: What do I want to leave behind? What do I want to carry forward? What do I want to create?
Reframe Your Goals: With the clarity that surrender brings, revisit your aspirations. Use this period to redefine success and align your goals with your authentic desires.
Trust the Process: Just as winter inevitably turns to spring, surrender and rest will prepare you to re-engage with life and work from a place of strength and renewal.
The Outcome:
When you allow yourself to surrender, rest, and reframe, you’ll emerge rested, recharged, and refocused. You’ll be ready to return to your life and work with clarity, intention, and energy—prepared to thrive in your next season.
Have you ever experienced the difference between submission and surrender? I’d love to hear your story.
Ready to reimagine your professional identity and position yourself for what’s next? I can help. Schedule a free strategy session HERE, where we will dig into your goals and what’s possible.