How to Work Through Criticism

So you got some tough-to-swallow feedback from a boss, client, or partner.

Yikes.

There’s nothing like critical feedback to knock you down a few pegs and invite the self-doubt monster to creep its way into your day.

How do you feel about feedback?

If you said, “I love glowing feedback or none at all,” you’re definitely not alone.

There is an art to giving good, effective feedback, which is something every manager should learn, but at the end of the day, you will receive critical feedback at some point.

How you manage it is up to you.

Let’s work with the feedback you received.

STEP 1: Write down exactly what the person said.

If you have a written review, look at the facts and the exact words.

STEP 2: Write out your thoughts and feelings about the feedback.

Some thoughts may generate negative feelings, sadness, anger, and defensiveness. It’s important that you allow yourself to pause and feel those negative emotions.

Feelings are just neurochemicals pulsing through your body. If you give the sensations a little attention, they will dissipate in another 90 seconds. If you don’t process the emotion, it will come out somewhere else. Overeating, overdrinking, too much social media, shopping, or any other vice of your choosing.

It’s our thoughts about the feedback that can make feel it so uncomfortable.

When we are defensive, it’s nearly impossible to be in forward motion or productivity mode.

STEP 3: This may be hard, but I offer you to find even a .0001% chance that the feedback is accurate. Is it possible that any portion of the feedback is true?

Years ago, I received feedback that I was controlling and, at times, passive-aggressive.

Yup, totally true. I had a high standard of professional excellence, and that, at times, led me to be controlling.

Passive-aggressive, check. That was true too. I spent so many years afraid to provide contrary feedback to the popular opinion that I silenced my voice. Then I didn't know how to right-size my voice, so at times I was passive-aggressive. I had to process my emotions. See Step 2 above. When I learned how to master this, my career soared.

STEP 4: Figure out what you are making it mean.

No one likes it when I ask this question. It’s annoying. I get it. But it’s also one of my favorites.

What are you making the feedback mean? What are you letting it say about you?

Maybe you let the feedback mean you are bad at your job. Or unworthy of that executive-level promotion. Or just generally a bad person.

Feedback is just data. Yup.

You fall into self-doubt, imposter syndrome, or overwhelm when you let the feedback mean, weigh, or dictate more than it is worth.

Are you struggling with some critical feedback at work? I’d love to help you see through a lens you might be missing.

If you are interested in moving up, out, over, or just feeling better about your career, I can help you figure out what's next. Schedule a free strategy session where we will dig into your goals and what’s possible. Schedule with me HERE