The Relentless Pursuit of Validation

It seems innocent. Pure.

You just want them to like and praise your work.

You want their validation. You hope for it.

Because, after all, your work is a reflection of you, right?

You may not even realize the imbalance you’ve created.

When you trade your labor for validation, love or a compliment, it’s like a drug.

I’ve done it. It sucks.

And it delivers the absolute worst hangover.

And…now you need it, the fix, after each deliverable.

But it doesn't always come.

You mostly come up short when you trade your labor for appreciation, praise, or love.

It can be excruciating.

Is my work good enough? Am I good enough?

You love your work. You want to over-deliver.

You want to please your boss.

Surprise and delight your client.

So, you work harder, longer hours.

You are pleased with your output.

You’re tired.

Maybe even close to fully fried.

You wait and hope for appreciation, compliments, acknowledgment, and validation.

And the compliments don’t always come. The validation is fleeting.

Because humans are messy, even if they mean well, they have human lives and stressful days.

Your appreciation and validation have to come from within. You have to give it to yourself.

You get to control your thoughts about yourself - don’t let someone else's day determine whether you get a compliment.

Here’s what to do instead.

1. Keep a running list of all your accomplishments.

2. Sit and choose how you want to think about each one.

3. Take a victory lap.

4. Think about how you want to feel when you deliver the goods.

Accomplished? Proud? Confident? Inspired? Appreciative?

Stay there.

Give that to yourself.

You get to choose how you want to think and feel about YOU.

And when the compliments eventually come, those expressions will be nice but unnecessary.

Because you already gave the love and support you needed to yourself.

Is there any greater freedom?

Here's to possibly.

If you are interested in moving up, out, over, or just feeling better about your career, I can help. Schedule a free strategy session where we will dig into your goals and what’s possible. Schedule with me HERE.